So I hit a bit of a milestone last week- OK, I don’t know when I actually hit it, but let’s say I noticed it last week. After a little more than five years with one particular company, I’ve written 161,468 words. Wow! That’s a pretty big number! At any given moment, though, I’m working for at least three companies at a time, so the actual number of words I’ve written in the past five years is most-likely three to four times that number; and that’s just my work-for-hire writing. And what did I get for reaching that milestone you might ask? (Begin drumroll) A water bottle with the name of the company printed on the side. Yep! A water bottle! But hey, in an occupation where even an “atta-girl” is difficult to come by, I’ll take it, and proudly drink from it.
But here’s the thing. . . when I saw that number, I immediately began beating myself up, and the misery lasted for almost 24 hours.
Here’s a sample of the voice in my head (steady, she can be brutal at times):
That’s almost three middle-grade novels. Can you believe that? That’s 161 picture books. How many chapter books did you leave unwritten and for what? You’re so behind all the other writers you know. No wonder an agent hasn’t picked you up yet. You’re 50, and you’ve only sold one book. That’s pathetic.
My husband was finally able to break into my internal dialogue (he’s one of my biggest cheerleaders) and said, “Yes, but think of all those words PLUS everything else you’ve written! Since you started, you’ve written two novels, one chapter book, a poetry collection and who knows how many picture books. And that’s on top of all those other words.”
Hearing that helped a little, but we writers are hard on ourselves by nature. So it wasn’t until breakfast at the end of my 24-hour beat-me-up marathon, that it hit me. Those 161,000-plus words represent piano lessons, violin lessons, trumpet lessons and cello lessons for three kids. They mean bills got paid and music trips to New York and Chicago happened, and field trips happened, and homecoming dances and proms happened and yearbooks happened and college tests and all the other little things that are very big things happened. And all because of words (and the strength from God to write them). When I looked at my youngest daughter across the table, now 17 and heading to college in a year, I realized again what those words had helped to accomplish, and I was thankful. So thankful. . .
So here’s to words, and the things they make happen that are the real stuff of life. They’ve let me be part of the three best stories I’ll ever help to write, and those are Wesley, Julia and Olivia. I love you guys! My three big kids!
Sensibility- Look at your writing in honest ways and celebrate all that you’ve accomplished since you got started. Then eat something chocolate. Chocolate is always good.
Sense- Even when you feel sidetracked by life’s responsibilities, be they writing or otherwise, find a few minutes each day to write something you love (like a blog post;).
What have your words helped you accomplish in the past few years?